


you make me dizzy

by keanushair



Series: all of our universes [14]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst, Drabble Collection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fainting, Heavy Angst, Hiding Medical Issues, Hospitalization, M/M, Prompt Fic, Self-Destruction, Tumblr Prompt, there'll be a part 2 though my butterflies, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-01-16 04:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18514201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keanushair/pseuds/keanushair
Summary: prompt: Hello ! I adore your work, so when I saw that you were looking for prompts I thought I could try to help. Here are some angst ideas for Elu: Elliott has an episode and that prompts Lucas to neglect his own health so much he ends up in the hospital (we saw he doesn’t eat or sleep when he’s anxious so it could happen). Or, even more angsty, Lucas’s mother tries to commit suicide & the consequences to it ? It might be too “emotional hurt/comf” idk, but hopefully it might inspire too. ;)prompt: i love emotional stuff so would you be able to do one where lucas is having a hard time emotionally over school and family but he’s been trying to hide it from elliot because he doesn’t want to upset him, but elliot finds out anyway.





	1. "falling down"

**Author's Note:**

> idk why i made this so sad, probably because i'm still emo  
> look out for part 2 next week

To say that things had been rough would be an understatement. Rough would have been the time in which Eliott stayed in bed for 3 days and refused to let Lucas feed him anything. Rough would have been the time in which they went to meet Lucas’s father for dinner but he never showed up. They had been through rough times and prevailed.  _Rough_  wasn’t necessarily new for them - it wasn’t some grandiose thing that threatened to tear down the very structure of their relationship. **  
**

This was different.

He’s not sure what started the argument, but he knew that he wanted it to end. Fighting with Eliott was always an emotionally draining thing to do. Eliott didn’t like it, Lucas didn’t like it, and so they tried their best to resolve any and all issues as quickly and calmly as possible.

Maybe it was the result of not eating for nearly 3 days, but Lucas was on edge constantly. If someone shut a door a little too loudly, he’d bark at them about keeping a quiet space. If someone went back and forth with him on a subject, he’d drop it and stew in a silent anger that tainted the rest of the day. In this case, Eliott had come up with some absurd plan that he wanted Lucas to partake in. Lucas, not too fond of breaking into some building and painting the wall as a way to remember their time in the foyer, suggested that Eliott may be manic. Eliott didn’t take to this very kindly.

“Not everything I do is a symptom, Lucas! You should know this by now.”

“I  _do_  know that! But this idea…”

“So you don’t like it - that’s fine! It doesn’t mean anything more than that. Fuck.”

Lucas got it. It made sense as to why Eliott would be mad at him in this particular situation, but everything had been building up. He felt like his entire being had become a pressure cooker. He’d done his best to look after Eliott when he needed help, to leave Eliott alone when he wanted to be alone - to be the best boyfriend that he could possibly be. Lucas would never admit that sometimes being there was hard. There were days in which he wanted to scream, throw things, cry, disappear into the floor, and everything in between - but he’d never let Eliott know that. It’s not that Eliott couldn’t help him, but he had his own things to deal with.  _Let him focus on him. I’ll be fine._

“I’m not helpless, you know?” Eliott had said to him one late night. They were laying across the couch late at night while some show played in the background. Eliott had been asking about Lucas’s day to which Lucas replied with a chorus of  _“fine”_  and  _“nothing special”_. Eliott knew it wasn’t the truth - he could tell by the bags under Lucas’s eyes and the odd text he’d gotten from Arthur earlier warning him of a potentially grumpy Lucas. Despite this, Lucas had the same neutral expression on his face that Eliott was beginning to grow annoyed of.

“I never said-”

“You didn’t have to say it. You think it.” Eliott sounded so sure of himself. He spoke as though nothing Lucas could say would change his mind on the matter. It made Lucas’s skin turn hot with anger, but he internalized it. He’s learned how to expertly pack things inside of himself over the years.

“I don’t think that. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Then stop coddling me and tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong!”

“I’m not doing this with you, Lucas!” Eliott jolted to his feet, knocking Lucas off of his place on Eliott’s torso abruptly. His head swirled.

“Eliott, listen…”

“No,  _you_  listen,” Lucas huffed but didn’t speak further. Eliott was angry, a rare occurrence, and so he let him voice whatever he needed to get off of his chest. “You’re not my doctor or psychologist or helper, okay? You’re my boyfriend.”

“Presumptuous of you.” Lucas joked, and Eliott chucked a little which made Lucas think that maybe this situation could be resolved without too many doors being slammed or tears being shed.  _Is it cold in here?_  Eliott bounced his shoulders.

“My comedian boyfriend,” Eliott smiled a little but didn’t move any closer. “I just want to help you as much as you help me. I know something’s up. You can tell me. I can handle more than just my own problems, Lucas.” Lucas chewed on his bottom lip and shifted his weight. His head felt a little light from having laughed earlier, but he forced himself to refocus.  _How long have we been standing here? Or am I sitting down?_

“I just don’t want to overwhelm you. My problems really aren’t that big of a deal.” Lucas blinked one too many times and found himself tripping over his own feet - stumbling back down onto the couch. Eliott furrowed his eyebrows but didn’t comment.

“They’re a big deal to me if they’re hurting you.”

“Eliott, seriously, don’t worry about it.”

“This is what I mean, Lucas!” He was yelling again, or raising his voice - Lucas couldn’t really tell how loud he was actually being in the moment. Everything sounded amplified. “You shut me out again and again. There’s just no winning with you sometimes!”

“This isn’t a competition, Eliott.”

“Then stop treating it like one!”

Lucas narrowed his eyes. His mouth twisted into a thin line. “What does that even mean?”

“It means…” Eliott rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. He was truly angered.  _Maybe the situation can’t be fixed._  “You always have to help me. You’re always the strong one. Why can’t we help  _each other_? I can be strong too, you know?” Lucas felt the room spin but he’s almost positive that he hasn’t moved yet.

“I know you’re strong, baby.”

“You’re not perfect, you know? You don’t have to act like it!” Something settled into Lucas’s stomach, making him feel even sicker than he already did. He wasn’t sure where Eliott was going with this conversation, but he didn’t like it.

“I never said-”

“No, no, of course you never said you were perfect. You just act like it, right?”  _Okay, so we’re doing this now?_ Eliott was going off the rails with his argument, but he meant every word. Lucas knew that he wasn’t speaking just to speak. He was speaking because he’d been wanting to.

“I don’t act like I’m perfect. What the fuck does that even mean? You don’t even know what you’re saying.” His vision started getting a little blurry by the edges. Maybe he should have eaten breakfast this morning before getting into a heated debate, but that time is gone now.

“Oh, I don’t know what I’m saying? Why? Am I manic, Lucas?” Lucas bit his tongue, quite literally, in order to keep from saying something he’d regret. “Everything ties into me being bipolar, right?”

“Eliott…”

“I’m not manic. I’m just mad! I’m allowed to be mad! My own boyfriend keeps shutting me out and I’m supposed to do nothing about it?” Lucas flared his nostrils and exhaled a little too harshly, making spots appear in his field of vision.  _Wait…_

“Wait, wait…” Lucas was speaking mostly to himself as he felt his kneecaps threaten to give way. Eliott, still fired up, shifted his weight and clenched his jaw.

“What, Lucas?” His voice was pointed and sharp.

“I can’t-” His kneecaps followed through on their threat and soon he found himself on the floor. His limbs felt like heavy weights tying him down to the ground.

Next thing he knew, Eliott was cradling his upper half and running shaky hands through his too-long hair.

“Lucas, baby, look at me.” Lucas could hear him, though he sounded distant. His eyes were flickering quickly - trying to figure out whether to stay open or closed. “An ambulance is coming, okay? Lucas, please…”

 

He didn’t hear much else before the uncomfortable sound of rhythmic beeping filled his ears. From the scratchy feeling of fabric on his skin, he could tell that he was in the hospital. The only problem was that he couldn’t remember why. He could feel someone gripping his hand a little too tightly. He gave it a squeeze.

“Eliott?” The man next to him jolted up and placed an array of kisses on his forehead. Lucas eased into his touch.

“Fuck, you scared me so badly Lucas.”

“Sorry, that wasn’t my intention.” He offered lightly. Eliott smiled but it didn’t seem to reach his eyes completely.

“Lucas, we have to talk about this. You can’t do this to yourself.” Lucas closed his eyes and let his head rest back against the hospital bed. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was more bearable than looking at Eliott directly.

“I’m sorry.” Eliott shushed him and stroked his hair. Lucas felt his eyelids droop. He hadn’t gotten much sleep lately, and it was beginning to weigh on him.

“Just rest for now, yeah? We’ll talk when you wake up.” Lucas shuffled over so that Eliott could have a spot on the bed too. He was a little too big, but Lucas insisted that he squeeze himself on as much as he could. Eliott obliged, happy to be helping Lucas for once, and let the younger boy fall asleep pushed up against his chest.


	2. getting back up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 2 of this prompt!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao remember when i said i'd have this out in a week??

**From Basile:** sooo how about that update??

**From Arthur:** ^^

**From Basile:** cmon dude

**From Basile:** we miss lulu

**From Yann:** seriously tho, is he OK?

**From Eliott:** He’s fine. He’s sleeping.

**From Basile:** what even happened??

**From Eliott:** He hasn’t been eating or sleeping properly. I think he just exerted himself too much. Passed out.

**From Yann:** Fuck

**From Arthur:** can we see him?

**From Yann:** might be too soon bro

**From Arthur:** :(

**From Eliott:** I need to talk to him first. I’ll tell him you want to stop by?

**From Yann:** Sounds good, thanks

**From Eliott:** <3

 

When they had gotten back from the hospital, it quickly became apparent that something in the air between them had shifted. It wasn’t light and breathable anymore. The air felt thick, dense, heavy - riddled with too many things unsaid. The bus ride back to Lucas’s apartment had been in complete silence. Eliott left his hand on his thigh in case Lucas decided to reach out for it, but he never did.

When they finally stepped into the too-cold apartment, Lucas made a beeline for the bedroom. The door remained open and yet something told Eliott not to follow. The fight had been a stupid one, admittedly, but it had also been the most intense they’ve ever had. Little arguments were fine - they came and went without so much as a second thought - but this was different. Something about this sat uncomfortably on his shoulders and in his chest.

The day went on and Lucas never left the room except to go to the bathroom every now and then. He’d been told not to move too much, allow himself to rest and be taken care of instead, but Eliott knows that that’s not the true reason as to why Lucas won’t leave the room. Eliott shifted on the couch - realizing that he wasn’t sure if he was wanted here at all.

“My beautiful boy,” Mika sighed as he settled down onto the couch next to Eliott. He draped an arm around his shoulders and pulled Eliott in closely. He reveled in the odd sensation - being held by someone else - but he let his body ease into it and rest on Mika’s shoulder. He had to admit that it felt like a new kind of warmth.

“Hey.”

“Tell me: what exactly are you doing?” His voice was a familiar mixture of stern and concerned. Eliott huffed and attempted to shrug, which turned out to be extremely difficult when you’re pressed up against someone’s side.

“Sitting here with you.” He offered up lamely, not taking his eyes off of a spot he had chosen to fixate on. He could feel Mika shove him a little.

“That’s the problem, my beautiful friend. Why are you here when Lucas is in there?” He points in the direction of the bedroom where the door is still open - taunting Eliott. Eliott deflates in Mika’s arms. He thinks about all the moments in which Lucas had been there for him even though he didn’t want Lucas to feel sad. He thinks about bringing Lucas down with him, and how he’d do anything to avoid that. He thinks about how good Lucas has always been to him, and how he can’t remember the last time he asked Lucas how he was feeling.

_I’m a terrible boyfriend, aren’t I?_

“He wants to be alone.” Eliott said.

“Did he say that?”

Eliott shakes his head and Mika thumps him against his shoulder. “Go talk to him, you idiot. He left the door open for a reason.” Eliott contemplates this - contemplates whether or not he could be misreading the signals - but it feels like white noise is in his head. It feels like his head is the lightest it’s ever been. The one moment Lucas needs him, his head won’t cooperate. It doesn’t feel familiar. He feels like a stranger in his own body.

“You’re nervous.” Mika’s voice is stern and final, but he’s still holding Eliott close, which makes his head buzz.

And sure, he hadn’t thought about that. He’d never really been nervous with Lucas now that they were settled into their relationship. He felt guilty sometimes, out of place or too heavy for his bones, but never really nervous. There was never any need for him to be nervous, truthfully.

“I think you might be right.” His eyes fell to the floor and stayed there - wondering if Lucas was awake and staring at the wall, waiting for him to come in and comfort him. “But I don’t know why I’m nervous. I shouldn’t be.”

“Hey, hey, you’re allowed to be nervous.” He shook them both a little, and Eliott couldn’t help but smile. “Your boyfriend passed out in front of you. I think I’d be scared too. But Lucas needs you, and he doesn’t accept help very often.” That last part had a bit of a knowing tone to it, and Eliott knew it to be true. Lucas was strong. Even when he was screaming or crying or wouldn’t speak at all, Eliott knew he was strong.

 

With Mika’s words echoing in his mind, he found himself in the doorway of the bedroom, leaning against the wall and waiting to gather up the same strength that he often saw in Lucas. Lucas was facing away from him, covers pulled up to his chin as he laid in the dark room. He’d done this himself a lot - when he didn’t necessarily like being alone, but he felt like he had to.

“Lucas?” His voice was smaller than he had hoped for, but loud enough for Lucas to shift in the bed and silently inform him:  _yes i was awake, yes i was waiting for you, where have you been?_

He immediately climbs into bed and wraps his arms around Lucas - bringing Lucas’s back flat against his chest. He buries his face in the nape of Lucas’s neck and presses a kiss there. For a while, they say nothing. They let their breathing sync up as the world moved on around them. Eventually, however, Eliott finds it within himself to speak up.

“How are you feeling?”

Lucas shrugs against him. “Fine.”

“You were just in a hospital. I find that a little hard to believe.” He had intended for his voice to be light-hearted - for it to be a passing comment - but he couldn’t follow-through. The more he sat on it, the more his blood would boil. The mere thought of Lucas neglecting his own health enraged him, broke his heart - made him feel too much all at once.

“I’m sorry about that.”

He decided that not seeing Lucas’s face was becoming a problem, and so he nudged Lucas until the younger boy got the hint and turned around in his arms. He wrapped an arm around his waist and dragged him even closer. Still, Lucas wouldn’t look him in the eyes. Eliott attempted to duck his head down and catch his glance, but to no avail. He let it go for now.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I don’t know. You were right. I thought you were… you know, entering a manic episode or something.” Lucas fidgeted with his hands uncomfortably. He could see Lucas digging his fingernails into the fleshy palm of his hand, and so Eliott pried his hand away and kissed his knuckles. “But I shouldn’t keep thinking like that. I just get so nervous sometimes.”

Eliott ignored the stinging feeling in his heart and let one of his hands tilt Lucas’s chin upwards. Looking into his eyes felt hypnotic. Lucas’s eyes were misty and dark - distant.

“There will be an… adjustment period, I know.” Eliott was speaking a little too slowly, trying to carefully select his words, which he’s sure wasn’t helping Lucas’s anxiety. He couldn’t help it. This was too important to be ruined by poorly chosen phrases. “You’re good to me, Lucas. I know you mean well. I just… you know what I’m used to when it comes to that sort of thing.”

Lucas nodded but said nothing.

“You shouldn’t hurt yourself to help me.” The words came out strained, like it caused physical pain to speak them into existence. They burned his lips.

“I’m not-”

“Have you been eating lately?” Eliott looked him directly in the eyes again, needing to gauge Lucas’s reaction. The boy had barely flinched, but it was there. A small action, but Eliott caught it. “Or sleeping?”

“I’m sorry.” Eliott cupped his cheek and ran his thumb over his cheekbones. He kissed him lightly, testing Lucas’s reaction, and deepened it a little when he felt Lucas kiss back.

“I don’t need you to be perfect,” He kissed the tip of his nose this time. “I just need you to be healthy.” Lucas smiled at this, a small one, but it was an improvement.

“I’ll try harder.”

Eliott shook his head. “Stop trying to push yourself. Baby steps, okay? I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”

Lucas nodded and ran his hand up and down the length of Eliott’s arm. “You’re good for me too, you know.” Eliott smiled fondly, eyes crinkling up at the corners and shoulders jumping a little, before he kissed Lucas again. It was a little sloppy, but neither of them cared.

“I love you. Now get some sleep. The boys want to come visit you soon.”

Lucas rolled his eyes. “They’re trying to put me back in the hospital.”

“That’s the plan.” Eliott smiled into the kiss before pulling the covers back up over them.

He had to wait 3 more hours for Lucas to finally fall asleep, but he didn’t mind. He would have waited all night if he had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: unmecchelou.tumblr.com


End file.
